i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize