i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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