i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
