Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Alive.
So much puke
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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