Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
