You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
