you turned your livingroom into a bong?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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