Only a mothe r could love this liver
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The adults are the big ones right?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
