So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
