i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
