One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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