Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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