dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize