Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
