Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
