Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Less talking, more tequila
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
