sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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