HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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