I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
