did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
