just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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