I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
