lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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