today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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