i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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