I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
