i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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