well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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