I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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