I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize