I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
