The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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