This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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