her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
