So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
