I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
