She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
