cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
