Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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