I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
