I heard we made out
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
