Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
