i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
