Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Come see our sink grown plant.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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