Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
