I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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