after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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