I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
