I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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