Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
