shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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