dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
