It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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